Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Mysteries of the Universe

>> I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
> I had amnesia once -- or maybe twice.
> Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
> All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
> If the world was a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.> What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
> They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
> Teach your children to be polite and courteous in the home and when theygrow up, they'll never be able to merge their car onto the freeway.
> One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.> The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
> If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
> Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
> Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
> Chaos, Disorder, and Panic: My work here is done.

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