Friday, July 11, 2008

Teen dating and abandonment

Ok... so we've gotten dd this far... 13 years... a good student... good judgement... knows how to ride a bike, is water safe, looks both ways before crossing the street... eats sensible foods (if they are rice, pizza or potstickers) ...turns in school assignments on time, talks to teachers, is mostly polite to most adults, makes good friends, puts words to her feelings (much of the time)... folds laundry, unloads the dishwasher, babysits her sisters responsibly, ..... but now ... this! The boyfriend... a really great kid who treats her well... but... THEY ARE 13 and inseparable. .. and this has been going on for A FULL YEAR. ... They start texting at 7am and only stop at 10pm when they fall asleep (with phones under pillows). When he's not around (his mother took his phone last week until he does his summer reading..) she is absolutely morose and even intractable. .. strang and durm (storm and stress)... high dudgeon.... What I can't figure out, is how much of this is normal teenage dispare... and how much of it is fueled by sdoption abandonment issues? Life is sometimes a hard road full of disappointment and fear and anger anger and angst, but as a parent... can I do anything to help? Where can I turn for advice? When she was 2 and thrashing around I could wrap her in my arms and hold her for hours, days, whatever it took until she felt calm... but now.. she's bigger and almost stronger than me... when she goes ballistic door jams get smashed.

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