NaNoWriMo has taught me a lot. After just two days of writing and 14 days of procrastinating, I've decided that the novel just isn't my medium... I'm more of a shrinklet kind of girl. So, to celebrate all this self knowledge, the Institute for Really Bad Poetry brings you this bitsy bite of literary analysis that's almost in iambic pentameter to show you the wonderful link between F. Scott Fitzgerald's classic The Great Gatsby and Catholic Church's Seven Deadly Sins. Have at it all you high school essay writers. And remember to give credit where credit is due (or the internet plagiarism police will catch you).
Gastby's love for Daisy
(A silly little bubble)
Is almost pure and unrequited
But leads to a mess of trouble
In a big misunderstanding
Gatsby gives his life
A Nouveau riche takes the bullet
For a bully who screwed someone's wife -- and his wife who takes the gal's life.
(wrath and lust)
Bully Tom and his wife frothy Daisy
Have never worked or paid
Nothing for them has consequence
And everything's just a game
(greed)
These socialites Gatsby worships
Don't have anything useful to do
They lounge in airy rooms all day
Play golf and party too
(sloth)
Daisy lives far above Gatsby's class
So he constructs the ultimate fake
He creates an illusion around himself
But he's really on the take
(envy)
Gatsby hosts elaborate parties
His dream is a trap that binds him
He's the ultimate dweeb with no real friends
When all he wants is for Daisy to find him
(pride)
To pay for his transformation
Gatsby does business deals for mobsters
He sells illegal liquor
So the rich can have wine with their lobsters
(gluttony)
Gatsby's illusion works too well
And while Tom is off with his mistress
Daisy dallies with Gatsby and makes useless plans
and then comes the real nasty business
When all seven sins are accounted for
Daisy drives Gatsby's car into Tom's mistress
The mistress is dead
The poor spouse loses his head
And comes gunning for Gatsby with vengeance.
Nick, our trusted observer
All alone attends Gatsby's funeral
Daisy and Tom take an long trip
and give consequences the slip
They never take responsibility
So the lesson we learn is as follows
The idle rich have no scruples
So don't be their pupils
and don't screw with other people's spouses.
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